Self Love

I don’t have enough of it and I’m finding there’s a heck of a lot of people out there who don’t either. I was raised without praise – with either no comment, or criticism. I remember my mother listening to the advice of an older woman telling her not to praise children. That would make them too full of pride. The sin of pride was of course one of the 7 deadly sins, at least it was in the Catholic Church.

Well you know, on reflection I don’t know that that’s really true. Having too big an ego is a problem for a few people that I know – but generally speaking there are a lot more people who think too little of themselves – too little self-esteem, too little self-love, who live with more guilt and shame than too much pride.

In the manifestation literature you will hear how important a piece is self-love – it’s one of the major starting points. It’s actually an important necessity for your progress in life – on all fronts.

In my memories of growing up I remember on leaving elementary school being voted the student most likely to succeed out of my grade 8 class. I did very well academically. Even though I never finished high school, I still managed to get 2 degrees and am now applying for a 3rd. Athletically I also excelled – leading every sport we played. But I never remember being praised for anything, only criticized.

In a recent magazine article they were responding on a study where they examined the mental health of a large cross-section of children. What they found was those who underwent the most criticism ended up with worst problems with their mental health. Surprisingly this was true no matter how well loved the child was or how high the family income – a high amount of criticism always corresponded to dysfunctional people as a result.

So how to turn this around? Well it helps to put yourself in an environment where people love you and compliment you regularly. But realistically how many of us are? What seems to work is to work at deliberately raising your own self-esteem by yourself, and stop taking other people’s opinion of you too seriously. In a journal perhaps, start to reflect on who you are – your strengths your weaknesses, and start a process of self-discovery. Such that you know yourself well, and know where it is that you need to improve. They say the best CEO’s know themselves well-enough to know when to pass on a job they’re not good at to someone who is. You could ask the pendulum for starters – with a simple yes/no: do I love myself/ fully accept who I am?

Compliment yourself every day in your journal: today I did……well. I’m proud of myself for… In my life I’m grateful for… (Gratitude lists are very important for centring, building, affirming). And every day affirm: I do love myself and accept myself.

Tapping is another great way to move that energy to a more positive note. Tapping sites like Tapping Solution will give you some great scripts you can use for that. e.g. Tapping on the side of one hand you start: “Even though I’m feeling a little down / depressed/not well…..I still choose to affirm that I am completely well and healthy and strong and I completely and thoroughly love and accept myself.” Then repeat that phrase tapping on the other hand. Then both sides of your face, then top of your head, then on your eyebrows, then under your eyes, under your nose, on your chin, on your 2 collarbones, under your armpits, both wrists together, back of 1 hand, back of the other. This method works amazingly to move the energy for more positivity in your attitude. It’s best done when you give a 1 out of 10 number to your pain/ discomfort, as you move through the tapping points. You’ll find you start to feel better when you finish. If your ‘downer’ is really bad you could even repeat it 2 or 3 times in a row.

Happy self-loving!

Happy self-loving!

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My father’s after-life journey

My father’s after-life journey

So this was a man who was a very devout Catholic all his life. From a farming family, he attended school to become a draftsman, though what he really wanted was to be a priest. But for some reason that never worked out. AfterWW11 he left with the last contingent to leave Latvia with other German troops, along with my mother and other refugees and ended up in a German prisoner of War camp in Germany. He managed to get out of there on a happy coincidence to join my mother who was in a refugee camp close by. With the 3 of us together their choice was to emigrate to Canada eventually & work for a farmer for a year, as was the custom then.

His whole life was lived devoted to the church, and as virtuous as he was able. He was loved by everyone as a quiet, peace-loving person who did the best he could.

A few weeks before he died I dreamt that the farmer had walked off the field: I saw a large field surrounded by brush/ trees. In the middle was a man on a tractor. He got off his tractor, and left the field. I only understood that after his death, that this was a death dream: he was the farmer / came from farmer stock and he was done doing his job on earth. Time to leave.

Soon after he died I dreamt that he was watching me from a sort of long cupboard, set in the wall. propped up on one elbow, his eyes following me around the room. I guess that meant that he was in no position to be active but that he was nevertheless quite aware of what I was doing.

Then at monthly/ bi-monthly intervals came a series of dreams describing his progress. One dream described him being in a hospital setting on a very low-lying cot, from which he occasionally had to get up from in order to vomit in the bathroom next door. This seemed to indicate that, as for many people, there is a recovery period, which may involve things to get rid of from one’s belief system. As we all need to do during our lives: reassess old briefs & possibly adopt new ones.

Then a dream of meeting with him in an old friend’s kitchen. Sitting at their kitchen table we had evidently been talking. His head was down as if quite sad about something. I was urging him to talk to me: “what’s the matter pop, tell me!’ Through a nearby door I could see my daughter passing by but she didn’t see us there. This dream was quite a progress from the last dream. First of all it takes place at a higher level physically. Their main floor kitchen was a higher level than average, whereas the preceding dream seemed to be at a basement level. This is progress mentally/spiritually to a higher level. That my daughter didn’t see him was interesting. She actually was very close to my father & she fondly remembered him feeding the chipmunks at the cottage. After he passed, she was on a camping trip with several friends. There were chipmunks around & everyone was trying to entice them with goodies. No takers. But one came right up to her even though she had no food for him. She cried, because she felt strongly that was her grandfather.

Then a final dream came a good while after that, maybe 6 months or a year later I dream he came to see me quite jolly and happy, dressed exactly like a Scottish golfer – the short skirt, the knee length socks, the cap with the tassel, and complete with a set golf clubs. (He’d never golfed in his life.) He was evidently off golfing, and in a great mood, having the time of his life. After that I’ve never had any dreams about him at all. So all I can conclude is that he had a rough recovery but now his understanding is of a higher, happier level, and his life now proceeds joyfully forward.

It’s interesting that that year of struggle after he died was so difficult for him. He died a good Catholic, is all I can conclude – with all the cultural beliefs and expectations that such a background allows. Joy is not one of its chief characteristics. Struggle, sacrifice, hardship that yes. Stiff upper lip, endurance, bent shoulders, bear your burden, sin, guilt, shame – absolutely. Seems from this, one could conclude that in his life outlook – he erred. And it took him quite some time to recover, to finally come to JOY – as we all should.

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Self Love – continued

I don’t have enough of it and I’m finding there’s a heck of a lot of people out there who don’t either. I was raised without praise – with either no comment, or criticism. I remember my mother listening to the advice of an older woman telling her not to praise children. That would make them too full of pride. The sin of pride was of course one of the 7 deadly sins, at least it was in the Catholic Church.

Well you know, on reflection I don’t know that that’s really true. Having too big an ego is a problem for a few people that I know – but generally speaking there are a lot more people who think too little of themselves – too little self-esteem, too little self-love, who live with more guilt and shame than too much pride.

In the manifestation literature you will hear how important a piece is self-love – it’s one of the major starting points. It’s actually an important necessity for your progress in life – on all fronts.

In my memories of growing up I remember on leaving elementary school being voted the student most likely to succeed out of my grade 8 class. I did very well academically. Even though I never finished high school, I still managed to get 2 degrees and am now applying for a 3rd. Athletically I also excelled – leading every sport we played. But I never remember being praised for anything, only criticized.

In a recent magazine article they were reporting on a study where they examined the mental health of a large cross-section of children. What they found was those who underwent the most criticism ended up with worst problems with their mental health. Surprisingly this was true no matter how well loved the child was or how high the family income – a high amount of criticism always corresponded to dysfunctional people as a result.

So how to turn this around? Well it helps to put yourself in an environment where people love you and compliment you regularly. But realistically how many of us are? What seems to work is to work at deliberately raising your own self-esteem by yourself, and stop taking other people’s opinion of you too seriously. In a journal perhaps, start to reflect on who you are – your strengths your weaknesses, and start a process of self-discovery. Such that you know yourself well, and know where it is that you need to improve. They say the best CEO’s know themselves well-enough to know when to pass on a job they’re not good at to someone who is. You could ask the pendulum for starters – with a simple yes/no: do I love myself/ fully accept who I am?

Compliment yourself every day in your journal: today I did……well. I’m proud of myself for… In my life I’m grateful for… (Gratitude lists are very important for centring, building, affirming). And every day affirm: I do love myself and accept myself.

Tapping is another great way to move that energy to a more positive note. Tapping sites like Tapping Solution will give you some great scripts you can use for that. e.g. Tapping on the side of one hand you start: “Even though I’m feeling a little down / depressed/not well…..I still choose to affirm that I am completely well and healthy and strong and I completely and thoroughly love and accept myself.” Then repeat that phrase tapping on the other hand. Then both sides of your face, then top of your head, then on your eyebrows, then under your eyes, under your nose, on your chin, on your 2 collarbones, under your armpits, both wrists together, back of 1 hand, back of the other. This method works amazingly to move the energy for more positivity in your attitude. It’s best done when you give a 1 out of 10 number to your pain/ discomfort, as you move through the tapping points. You’ll find you start to feel better by the time you finish. If your ‘downer’ is really bad you could even repeat it 2 or 3 times in a row.

Happy self-loving!

Visit: FrightFree.com

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Masturbation

Good for the soul. To grow up believing it’s wrong to masturbate is to believe one is never to enjoy one’s own body. Certain religions believe sex can only be used to make babies and can only be indulged in within certain narrow parameters. Pleasuring yourself is certainly very wrong they believe– parents often push away the hands of their children that stray over their body, investigating certain sensations of delight.

The message is that pleasant sensations from your body are not to be encouraged. Don’t delight in a wonderful luxurious soapy bath, the great feeling of the water on your skin when you swim in the ocean, having a lovely foot bath and a massage. Don’t ever admire your body and enjoy the view.

What a sad kind of civilization we’ve ended up with. With so many constraints on our enjoying life that you begin to understand that a famous author once said: “Life is short and brutish, and then you die”. My mother believed that. She taught me that the body was evil, the source of sin and temptation. It’s taken me awhile but I now firmly believe we were not put here to suffer, to struggle, to sacrifice and deny ourselves.

My dream teacher used to remind me occasionally to notice the little things around me that were pleasant and joyful. It was one of her habits to go out for afternoon tea, when we could. When I’d pick her up and were leaving her apartment she would inevitably reach into her pocket for a candy/ peppermint for both of us. Always something that would make me smile. She believed in enjoying life – the new way for the New Era, the way of the Feminine.

In one of the Conversations with God books, it’s pointed out that we were put here on the planet and given a body to take care of, to love and enjoy. The God-voice in the channelled text encourages us to enjoy our own bodies, and sees nothing wrong with masturbation, to the shock of many I’m sure. To deliberately deny ourselves the joy the body can give us, is perverse. In Tantric sex we find a different view, mind you – there masturbation and enjoying sex are accepted and encouraged as opposed to the view of many of the Western traditions.

Matthew Fox in his book Original Blessing asserts that the world of Original Sin & Redemption is the cause of much of our fear and could be the source of many of the negative views we have of the body. “There is a necessary connection between trust learned regarding our own body and our own existence -original blessing and the blessing that earthiness is and trust of cosmos. Artist Robert Henri testifies to this when he says ‘ There is nothing in all the world more beautiful or significant of the laws of the universe than the nude human body.’

With differing views of the body and sex come different attitudes to life as well. When you travel to different countries it’s striking how unique they can be. The Mediterranean countries seem so much more relaxed than us. Month long vacations and enjoying the good things of life come naturally there. Our stingy little one week vacations don’t compare.

Enjoy who you are fully, love yourself, celebrate yourself. Among the sometimes grim reality around us, we all long for more joy and laughter and love – in all its forms.

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Religion again

Once upon a time the notion of hell was common in the western world. It’s seen a decline in popularity as well. Neal Donald Walsch’ s channelled material states categorically there is no such place. That there is an in-between place where one could go for a time to figure things out is possible, certainly, but not a permanent place of never-ending suffering, no.

A friend of mine who was brought up with and was seriously frightened by the idea of hell, dreamt that she was falling, falling, towards hell. But when she landed she found herself lying on just a bed of straw- unharmed, and no flames in sight. Evidently sent to quiet her mind on the topic.

Another woman I met at a music conference told the others in her dorm room that she’d recently divorced her husband – which in her religion was not allowed. As a result she was being shunned by her family and others in their group and told she’d be going to hell. This must have laid heavy on her conscience for she had the following dream:

I was flying above the earth and beside me was another person, like an angel, flying beside me and a little behind. Between us and the earth were flying several ancient flying dinosaur birds, pterodactyls. Curious, I asked my guide/ angel, pointing to one close by: what’s that? Oh that? That’s the United Church. And that one over there? Oh, that’s the Catholic Church…… (etc)

i.e. She herself was actually flying at a higher spiritual level, and had no reason to be in fear of what narrow minded people from (outdated) older religious thinking threatened her with.

This notion of hell can be a huge burden to carry around. Another huge stick with which to beat children who aren’t behaving as you want them to. A few years ago I was teaching in a grade 5 class in the elementary system in Toronto, and among the many other questions I fielded was one from a very serious looking boy who asked me if hell was real? The only thing I could think to answer was that the only hell he’ll ever see is the hell we create for each other here on this planet. He seemed visibly relieved – evidently he’d been threatened with this by someone he trusted. As if we didn’t have enough actual dangers and threats to look out for! Wielded by someone who wants to have not only his own power to wield but wants hell and damnation to be in his control as well – to sound like he’s got it from the highest authority.

Why don’t we better concentrate on creating the best life we can while we’re here. John Wooden, the famous coach was known to have firmly believed what his father had told him growing up: “Make every day magnificent!” For yourself and for as many others as you can. Now there’s something to look forward to, something to sleep on – without the fears or the worry!

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Religion

It’s becoming more and more common to report on one’s religious affiliation as being “Spiritual, but not religious”. Fewer and fewer people are putting down that they belong to a specific religion anymore. Variety of factors at play here – high mobility rate, more and more multi-racial societies, fewer and fewer people growing up where they were raised in their traditional cultures , in their traditional religions. It’s much more common to live in an atmosphere where multiple religions interact – and religions are often compared, for better or worse. And to believe in the religion that you were raised in, unquestionably, is less and less common now.

I can’t speak for all religions, of course – my experience has been mostly with the Roman Catholic faith. And what I see isn’t pretty. Unquestioning, complete faith in any one institution doesn’t seem to be a good idea at the best of times – these are after all human inventions, no matter how inspired they claim to be – formed partly out of high motives, partly out of worldly motives, partly out of the necessities of sustaining the institutions they became.

Remember standing with my elementary school class at a Mass that was specific for the Catholic school, in the church beside where the school stood. As an early teen I stood in awe and wonderment at the ceremony before me and thought: “What an amazing coincidence, being born in the right religion”. “What luck! What if I’d been born anything else?” At that stage I must have heard that there are, indeed, other religions in the world, but certainly had no guidance on how to see all the possible religions in context. Learn about other religions in a Catholic school? Unheard of! Unthinkable!

Not exactly how to promote world unity and understanding, is it? So religious hatred continues to be bred. Us versus them thinking.

30 years later, long after I no longer considered myself a Catholic (in my Theology program we used to joke that we were all “recovering Catholics”,) I was participating in a minimum way in my family’s parish. And was reprimanded in a dream for leading other people to believe that because I, who had a theology degree – participated here -it lent support to the legitimacy of the institution. The dream was pretty scathing:

“I was serving up a big platter of mummy food, in a place like a church basement-walking around in a light atmosphere, among chatting people.”

To explain, among those who were among the first to open the Egyptian pyramids and disturb the coffins, many of them died of what was then deemed “the curse of the mummies” – the very dust was later found to be quite poisonous. i.e I was giving credence to a poison being fed to the believing Catholics. And yes, I believe that now to be true – that there are certain concepts that are promoted in that faith which are poison for all of us: we’re all sinners, born in sin, badly in need of redemption. Sex is bad. Masturbation is evil. The body is sinful. Poor people are holier than rich people…

So Religions have their place in the world and in peoples’ growing understanding of their spiritual selves, but I don’t think any one of them has the corner on truth. We should all feel free to explore spiritual concepts on our own, and find our own way, no matter which religion we were brought up in.

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Hatred Hurts

In the same way that it can be shown that prayer works – hate also works. Prayer works to help. Hatred works to hurt.

In Prayer – it’s less who you’re appealing to and more how you’re asking. You need to be sincere, and be well-intentioned, and bring your emotional body into it. Feel it ( see The Feeling is the Secret on You Tube). Whether you pray to God or Jesus, or Buddha, or Padre Pio, or St. Anthony, or St. Germaine or Mother Mary or Kwan Yin or any of the ascended masters – as long as you’re reaching above yourself- your guardian angel, even your own higher self – you will still get a response.

On CBC radio a few years ago I heard the story of a journalist from Toronto traveling in Montreal and noticed a family pull up with their van and open up their doors to fed all the homeless in this area. He was impressed and found out their story. The mother was a prostitute, the father a petty thief and they had five children. They had recently been through a bad period where they were at the end of their rope. They’d decided to kill the children and themselves the next day, figuring they were out of options. Before she went to bed, the mother passed through the living room and looked up at the ceiling and sighed and said: “Look, if anyone’s up there we could use a hand.” The next morning comes a knock on the door: we have work for you, programs for the kids – we’ll help you any way we can. Everything changed and they got back up on their feet again. Feeding the hungry was their way of giving back – which they did regularly.

Help is always there if we need it but we need to ASK.

Another story comes from a Minister from the Eastern townships in Ontario. He’d been preaching against a local gang of bikers. They heard of this and were determined to take revenge. So one Sunday when everyone had left after the service and the minister was locking up, he noticed through the window that the bikers were parked out front waiting for him. He was alone, what to do? He began to pray. When he left the building and walked to his car – they didn’t budge, just watched. Months later he ran into the gang leader in some other setting on a social occasion. The minister asked him point blank – “what happened? I saw you waiting outside the church that day – thought you might want to talk to me?” “You kidding”, the other replied?” With that huge big black dude following behind you ?– I wouldn’t have touched you with a 10 ft. Pole!”

Evidently an angel had been dispatched to cover him. (Ask and ye shall receive)

And for the hate story: Once upon a time, I was with a family and neighbour group having a Sunday afternoon brunch at a local hotel, and one of the women was telling a story of how she had this tile person do some work on her bathroom – and he’d made such a mess- I mean such a mess! That she’d had to clean up after him for hours and hours! The story went on and on and on and emotion level was through the roof – this had evidently played on her mind for hours on end. As a throw away line and at end of the story she mentioned that he’d died of a heart attack shortly after that.

I haven’t the slightest doubt that she killed him with her hatred and high level of emotion.

Thoughts are things – you can bless with your thinking or you can curse. Your call.

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Drink the Kool-aid

Drink the Kool-aid

Interesting story: Back in the days when people still commonly bought kool-aid for their kids, a friend of mine living in the country with her 3 children ended up storing a case of Kool-Aid up in her attic – some end-of-the-stock find, no doubt. Some time later she excitedly told me that she’d found several dead rats scattered here and there all over her attic! They evidently had actually been into the case of kool-aid and died as a result! Ouch!

I remember the Jonestown suicides being associated with the expression“drink the Kool-Aid” where a whole community were led to drink a poisonous drink on the urging of a charasmatic but misguided leader. But seemingly the Kool-Aid had a lethal effect even before the poison was added possibly because of its many artificial ingredients. Thankfully Kool-Aid no longer graces the shelves of our grocery outlets nor is that type of sweetened sugar water thought to be an appropriate drink to feed our children. That was just a cute lie we bought, along with all the other advertising of artificial foods that had just started to become popular at that time – most of which had lots of added sugar, no doubt as well as artificial flavourings like the deadly MSG and colourings, and preservatives and long lists of unpronouncable additives.

Recently I was shopping for a friend with cancer and was trying to avoid glucose as much as possible. (By the way I was shocked at the amount of added sugars I found in their prepared foods e.g. 18% sugar in a small pkg of prepared seaweed). I’d read that near the end of the war, Hitler had commissioned a Jewish scientist to work on finding a cure for cancer- because he was terrified of the disease. The doctor had found, interestingly enough, that if you remove the glucose from the cancer cell, the cancer dies. Simple. So avoid all suger and have a lower amount of fruit. Also avoid foods like cakes and donuts and bagels that turn immediately into glucose as soon as they get eaten. Now if this was discovered in the 40’s why doesn’t everyone know about it yet? I wonder who could be profiting here? Hm? Who could possibly be impacted by a discovery that could help thousands of cancer patients but at the same time might affect somebody’s bottom line.

Talk about hiding the truth and deliberate deception! And we in North America end up with the highest sugar consumption in the world, along with the highest obesity rates, as well as skyrocketing diabetes rates, cancer rates, along with a lot of other diseases. And we bought it all. We drank the Kool-Aid We depended on our medical profession to tell us the truth. We depended on Big Pharma to give us medicines that would cure us. Whenever someone would offer us some little natural remedy, we’d say, “Oh no, I have to check with my doctor, and see what he says.” We depended on our government to protect us from fraudsters and charlatans. When I was growing up “chiropractor” was a dirty word – schools wouldn’t allow discussions on the subject and Eastern Medicine was not considered legitimate.

Ladies and Gentlemen we need to stop depending on our institutions to give us all the answers, and start thinking for ourselves, and find our own solutions. Stop with the Kool-Aid.

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How to live

“You don’t know how to live, really live! You’re all far too busy and stressed” my dream teacher was told in a dream.

Covid’s done a lot of us a huge favour. It’s forced us to sit back and look around at our lives – maybe for the 1st time ever, we’ve been forced into ourselves. Some people panicked and complained of mental distress. Some people suicided. And some began to look around their lives and ask some hard questions – do I really want this husband ( divorces are way up), this job (chance to try a new direction), this house (moving out of the city is becoming a real option). Options that our “normal” lives would probably not have allowed for. Time to look deep into our options.

It stretched our imaginations, stretched our inner lives, stretched our real selves, stretched us as human beings. Realizing we really were human beings, not just human doings.

In China, my Qi Gong instructor tells me, they see your energy field as the real reality. Whereas in the West, we see only the outer structure of our lives as the real reality. The inner energy field, which we can feel but we can’t see, we regard as “airy-fairy woo-woo”. But we will one day discover that our outer reality is really created by our inner reality.

My dream teacher was walking up her street in Forest Hill some years ago when she heard a young girl further up wailing and crying and carrying on. Rather astonished and annoyed as it went on and on, she was finally told “that’s you”. Oh! Seems she had been upset about something and this girl’s crying was just a manifestation of her own upset in her outer reality. Quite the lesson!

Our inners are the originators of our outers. Our inner lives should be the focus of any change we want to bring into our lives. And it starts with a feeling – what is it you really want to do now with your life – what do your feelings tell you, what really makes you happy. Campbell always said, ”Follow your bliss”. It’s a good start!

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Getting upset more

You start to die. For real. Deepak Chopra doesn’t mince words. When you’re upset, there’s a progressive pattern of organ shutdowns that occurs, which begins as soon as you start to get upset, even a little bit. This is actually a natural consequence of feeling that you’re in danger. People are generally blase about what happens when you get upset, I imagine because getting upset is so common, and being under stress/ in fear is something that’s a usual everyday occurrence.

We all know that when you’re in fight or flight mode, what happens isn’t good. As soon as your adrenals start to work overtime and release adrenaline throughout your body, there is no part of you that isn’t affected. Your heart starts racing and your blood pressure starts to go up and up and up. Your brain functions are limited, lowering your ability to reason clearly. The pre-frontal cortex is starting to shut down, raw emotions take over: acting irrationally is the tendency here. Sweating increases. Blood flows freely to the limbs (ready for fight/flight). Your immune system starts to shut down. (Healing isn’t necessary when you’re about to be eaten). Every function not directly involved in fighting or flighting begins to shut down. Every single organ is directly affected. No wonder Deepak Chopra says that when you get upset you start to die.

I remember standing in the hospital hallway as my thesis director was dying and listening to the recitation of organs shutting down: well, now his liver is gone- ok so now his pancreas is no longer functioning…

This is not meant as an anatomy lesson – it’s meant to reorient you to seeing getting upset as a serious threat to your life. And to get a different perspective on how you behave in a difficult situation.

In our education system, educating the emotions has certainly not been a priority and training children how to cope when they’ve been insulted or hurt or harassed has been slow to be addressed. “Grin and bear it,” was actually the understood advice not so long ago. In the ’50s on the school-grounds, you would often hear: ”sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me”. In other words, there were a lot of verbal sticks being thrown around, that were expected to be ignored. not actually dealt with
.
There’s an old Chinese saying on how to react when faced with something upsetting, that goes something like: Consider now, how much harm can this really do? Perhaps his understanding is limited. Perhaps he doesn’t know better….etc.

In this Covid period, we could all now reorient our lives to include serious ”me” time: self-reflection, relaxation that includes creative endeavours – drawing, playing music, building something, nature time, etc. (not more TV time). More inner time, more spiritual possibilities, more inner growth. And starting to learn to rise above those little upsets.

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